Dear Livy — 4 years

Livy, my love:

Happy 4th Birthday, girlfriend. You are so big and so little, so independent and still so unsure. You are on the verge of finding your confidence and being more fearless, and I’m so happy I get to be with you on that journey. In fact I think you are teaching me to be more of those things as well.

This past year has been both amazing and tough for our whole family, but I think most especially for you. We packed up our lives last summer and relocated from our house in Edinboro to central Pennsylvania. We settled into a little neighborhood in Mechanicsburg, PA just in time for you and Hank to start school. It was a hard transition for you. A new school that was big and noisy with tons of strange people (overwhelming for my little introvert, you kept asking to go back to “Miss Anne’s” school in Edinboro which felt more like home to you). You had a new bedroom and house to get used to feeling safe and comfortable in (you declared that you “don’t like the stairs” in our three-level townhome, can’t say I disagree with you). And you had to get used to being away from people you love that you used to see all the time. Because of all of that, nearly every morning when I dropped you off at school it was an emotional roller coaster. You clung to me and refused to let go. I’d go out to the car and sob. And while your teachers texted me that you were fine and happily playing within minutes, I’d sometimes need an hour to recover emotionally. What helped the most was showering you with love and empathy. Letting you sleep in our bed at night when you wanted to. Lots of hugs and conversations and understanding that sometimes, we all need to cry and feel frustrated. It took about a month to settle in and find our stride, and now we are enjoying the spoils of all of that hard work: summer vacation with no school (just one of the reasons Daddy wanted to become a teacher, so he could spend summers with you).

Your personality is infectious and interesting, and it can light up an entire room. Your imagination — the way you see things that aren't there, the way you create little worlds around you without any input at all — it floors me on an almost daily basis. Your mind inspires and invigorates me to be better, to see better, and to pay attention. You love to dance and sing, tell stories and take care of things (I find “blankets” on toys and stuffed animals all the time). You love crafts and painting and coloring and cutting things (mostly paper, sometimes other stuff). You also love to bake and cook, and one of your favorite things to do is play restaurant and wait on people and watch them eat your delicious food.  

It's hard to get you to wear anything but a dress. Bonus points if it sparkles or twirls or hits the floor. And you asked for a Princess Party for your birthday, so we delivered. Everybody dressed up like a princess. Except you! You don’t like being the center of attention. But when you feel safe and comfortable you transform into a very dramatic, very theatrical little girl who performs and entertains. You love gesturing and telling stories with your whole self. When we’re out in the world, you tend to hide behind my leg or refuse to talk to people. Sometimes I wish everybody could see the amazing little girl I see everyday, but I’ve learned that you have every right to be shy and cautious and I just count myself lucky that I get to know you the way I do.  

You’ve been taking swim lessons this year and we are so blown away at how far you’ve come in just a few short months. We have a pool in our neighborhood that we visit frequently, which has helped your confidence in the water a lot. In a couple of months, you’ll be trying out some dance classes as well. You have a natural love of dancing and music, so Aunt Cris and Uncle Rob gifted you some dance lessons and ballet and tap shoes (and some tights and leotards) for your birthday. You are so excited to learn but get really nervous about going to a class with other people. I’m hoping you give it a chance, because I know once you make some friends and get to know the teachers you will thrive!

You are also sporting a super stylish haircut — a bob with bangs — that you picked out yourself. It suits you perfectly, and goes so well with your sparkly personality. You love playing salon and pretending to be a stylist, so anytime we go for a haircut you sit super still and pay close attention to everything they do. 

My favorite things about you are how smart and funny you are. Your comedic timing and intuition are hilarious. And my absolute favorite thing is how we snuggle together when you sneak into our room in the wee hours of the morning. You usually don't say a word and just fall asleep quietly snuggled up against my back for a few more hours of sleep. I know that someday I will look back and remember those quiet moments with you as pure heaven.

Here’s to your next trip around the sun being full of interesting and exciting new things, my brave girl.

All my love,
Mommy

Dear Livy — 2 years

My dearest Livy-Bug:

Happy Birthday, little star! I have to say, two looks so good on you. You have grown so much over the past few months. At Christmas time you were not yet walking and still seemed very much like our baby. But you're definitely not a baby now — you're walking, running, jumping, dancing, and talking up a storm. 

Your personality sparkles and your smile and giggle can light up any room. You have brought so much joy and life to our family and none of us can remember what life was like without you. You have an amazing friendship with your brother, Hank. (Sprinkled with a healthy amount of sibling rivalry and fighting, of course.) One of my favorite things is to watch Hank look at you and smile — he is so entertained by your cuteness and your sense of humor. 

That sense of humor is QUITE well-developed for a two year old. You have a knack for figuring out what makes people laugh and doing more of it. And your comedic timing is spot on. Living with an older brother means you learned about fart jokes early on, and we were all amazed when you figured out on your own that taking credit for a fart that wasn't yours would make people laugh. You'll say, "NO — LIVY!" and then grin and brace yourself for the laughter that's coming. 

You still LOVE to talk and you speak in sentences with ease. Some of our favorites:

• "Is dirty, Mommy." — when anything has something on it, like spices on your food
• "Hank, have it!" — when brother has taken something from you and you want it
• "Is mines" — we didn't understand why you were tacking on a "s" on Mine until we realized all the other possessives have an "s" on the end too — yours, his, hers, ours, etc.

Puppies and kitties are pretty much your everything and you'll point them out to us everywhere, all the time. You love our new puppy, Penny, and know the pets of all of our friends and relatives and ask about them often. We lost our dear Sophie in December and it makes me sad to think that you might not ever remember her.

If there were a professional wrestling association for toddlers I think you'd be the reigning champion. You love to wrestle and roughhouse and are quite the bruiser — you often get knocked over and just pick yourself back up without crying. We have a bean bag in our living room and you and Hank like to roll around with it and wrestle each other, giggling the whole time. 

Your favorite thing to do is read — I think you would read books all day if we let you. You'll even just read by yourself sometimes and go through book after book, jibber-jabbing through the pictures you see. It's hard sometimes for you to stay quiet during our bedtime reading because I think you would rather just read the book yourself.

Your other favorite toys are baby dolls, stuffed animals, puzzles, and your pretend food and kitchen. We have a toy room setup in our house now and you love to go in there by yourself and play on your own. You love to point out objects and things that you see and describe them to us, and you know all of your colors but will sometimes resort to calling everything "green" (I think to be funny). You've recently started exclaiming when you see something pink, "PINK! IS PINK, MOMMY!" I'm not sure how both of our kids ascribe to stereotypical gender preferences but since it wasn't something we forced on you I'm okay with it. :D

Your favorite characters are Minnie Mouse and Judy Hopps from Zootopia. The two songs on constant rotation in our lives are Try Everything by Shakira from Zootopia and Let It Go from Frozen. You listen to both on repeat in the van and we're so relieved to be done with Elmo that we don't even mind. Plus it's super-cute to listen to you sing along to both songs.

You love to wash your hands and sit on the potty, but you aren't yet potty trained. And you've picked up some of Mommy's OCD habits — wiping counters and tables and shutting doors. I've seen you take pieces of cloth from your toy bins and use it to wipe the floors and tables.

Your favorite foods are strawberries ("shawbees") and broccoli and you also love bread and pasta. You can chug a drink faster than any kid I've ever seen and will kindly ask, "More, please!" after you've finished. You learned how to be polite without much effort on our part and will say "Please," "Thank you," and "You're welcome," without being reminded most of the time. 

You truly light up our life, little one. I feel so lucky to be your Mama. I found a book that I bought for your birthday that made me cry because it so beautifully stated all of the things I hope you know I feel about you. I'll share the words here for you to read someday:

The Wonderful Things You Will Be
By Emily Winfield Martin

When I look at you and you look at me,
I wonder what wonderful things you will be.
When you were too small to tell me hello, 
I knew you were someone I wanted to know.
For all of your tininess couldn't disguise,
A heart so enormous... and wild... and wise.
This is the first time there's ever been you,
So I wonder what wonderful things you will do.

Will you stand up for good by saving the day?
Or play a song only you know how to play?
Will you tell a story that only you know?
Will you learn what it means to help things to grow?
Will you learn how to fly to find the best view?
Or take care of things much smaller than you?

I know you'll be kind... and clever... and bold.
And the bigger your heart, the more it will hold.
When nights are black and when days are gray —
You'll be brave and be bright so no shadows can stay.
Then you will discover all there is to see...
And become anybody that you'd like to be.
And then I'll look at you and you'll look at me,
And I'll love you, whoever you've grown up to be.

All my love,
Mama

Dear Livy — one year

My sweet Livy:

It has been one year since you entered the world and changed our hearts forever. Since the day you arrived on the planet, you have been a symbol, for me, of love, peace, and light. I felt that the first day in the hospital and I feel it now. Sometimes I think my job as your mother is to make sure I help Livy keep her Livy-ness.

In the past two months you have learned to crawl, stand up tall, and take some assisted steps. You're not yet cruising furniture but you do try to stand up in the middle of the floor. It looks like you're doing the downward facing dog pose in yoga, and I'm sure one day you are just going to push up into a stand and fall over. You are flexible and fast, and I am in no rush for you to walk because it's fun to watch you explore the world as a crawler.

I've been anxiously waiting to see which toys you develop a passion for and the clear winner seems to be dolls. You absolutely light up with joy when you are holding a doll baby and then hug them, bounce them on your knee, and kiss their faces. You get really excited if I change their clothes or put something on them like a diaper or sunglasses.  You also really love animals, including real-life dogs especially. 

In fact, your first three words were "Dada," "Mama," and "doggie" — in that order. You also say "hi" and wave your hand at people with a smile. I've also heard you say "baby" and other "B" words but I'm not sure yet if you're using them with conviction. You are VERY verbal and babble and practice new noises all the time. I frequently listen to you in your crib blowing raspberries with your lips and singing. 

At your one year well-visit this week, you were 31 inches long and weighed almost 24 lbs. which puts you in the 85th percentile across the board. You are my strong, capable girl! You still have the strikingly beautiful blue eyes you had in the hospital, and I'm guessing they're here to stay.   

You've also got the prettiest little head of chestnut brown hair. I am probably not the best mama when it comes to making your hair look well-coiffed. You often look like a rock star who just trashed a hotel room. But occasionally you will sit still long enough for me to put a pigtail or bow in your hair. 

Some of my favorite things you currently do:

• laugh whenever somebody around you laughs
• pet the doggie (Sophie) whenever she is beside you, which is a lot
• wiggle your hips and dance whenever music is on
• squeal with delight when brother splashes you in the bathtub

Food is still something you excel at, if that's a thing. If there were baby awards for eating you would surely get a blue ribbon. You love to try new things and seem to savor the taste of each food. Without exception, you eat everything we eat and especially love fruit and vegetables. You have started to use spoons and forks and are eating off a plate instead of the table. You've also mastered the use of a sippy cup.

You are sleeping through the night consistently for 12 hours. We put you down around 6:30/7 PM and you wake up around 7 AM. You are transitioning from two naps a day to one. And you still share a bedroom with Hank — it's so cute to listen to you guys "talk" to each other in your room at night. 

We had a small party at our house for your birthday and you were the cutest, most adorable birthday girl that ever lived. You opened presents like a champ and loved every single one of them. We were somewhat surprised when you daintily ate your cake instead of diving right in. It might have had something to do with the crown you were wearing at the time. 

Happy Birthday, sweet girl. Mama loves you so much — forever and no matter what.

photo by Christie Rackley Photography

Smash cake by MoMo

Dear Livy — 10 months

Little Livy Rose:

You are just a few days shy of being 10 months old. Since my track record for getting your monthly letters done is a bit shy of perfect, I'm doing this one early for good measure. My inability to keep up with letter-writing is parallel to how inexplicably fast your little life is going through my lens. 

Right before my eyes you are turning from baby to toddler. It is, at once, thrilling and bittersweet. I sometimes get weepy thinking this is the littlest my littlest one will be. But those moments don't last long, because it's far too exciting to see you moving, babbling, and exploring your way into toddler-dom.  

You are about a hot minute away from crawling. I keep thinking today will be the day, but you keep teetering on the edge of doing it. You get up on all fours and rock back and forth. And you lunge at things. It's just a matter of time before your mind and body figure it out and then we'll all be chasing after you.

Babbling is still one of your favorite pastimes and you get into heated discussions with people who have no idea what you're saying. That doesn't seem to bother you at all. There aren't many English words coming out yet (Dada is still a favorite) but I have no doubt that your fiery spirit will one day be heard.

Some of my favorite things that you do:

• flap your arms excitedly and laugh when you're happy
• "clap" with one hand (opening and closing your fingers)
• lunge for objects on the table and surprise everyone with how far you can reach
• get excited when the doggie comes near you
• close your eyes and make adorable squeals and ahhhhhs when brother gives you hugs and kisses

You are eating solid foods like a champ — we've pretty much started giving you anything and everything that we're eating. You rarely choke or gag and can even put away a fair amount of meat. One day I gave you a big piece of chicken to suck on and was surprised when you ate the whole thing. Not bad for a girl with only two teeth. You love food and love the process of eating meals with people around you.

Eating more solids has led to sleeping for longer periods at night. You are currently waking up 1-2 times at night to eat and going right back to sleep. You go to bed around 6:30 PM and wake up around 7 AM. You are my happy morning girl, which is good because brother and daddy are not as fun to be around in the morning.

A few weeks ago we stopped breastfeeding. It was definitely not planned and happened sooner than I anticipated. We were all sick for almost 2 months, and a medication I was taking affected my milk supply without me knowing it. But you transitioned to formula with ease and I've enjoyed seeing daddy and others get to feed you more often. You aren't so snuggly during feedings anymore and often kick and push so hard that we find it difficult to keep you contained with one arm. There's just too much going on for you to sit still for long. The one exception to that is your middle-of-the-night feeding where you are sleepy and calm. I drink up those moments with you, knowing too well how numbered they are.

At your last pediatrician visit you were 28 inches long (75th percentile) and 20 lbs. (70th percentile). It's time to move you from your infant car seat to the big girl car seat you got for Christmas. And I am packing away clothes that you are outgrowing at an alarming rate. Good thing your mama loves to shop for you and brother.

Some of your favorite things:

• being outside
• avocados and guacamole
• bread
• the dog
• music + dancing
• bath time (with brother splashing you)

Livy-girl, my crazy, sweet soul who brightens up the world around her — I couldn't possibly love you more. Thank you for filling our days with light, love and the sweetest cheeks that ever existed.

Yours,
Mama

Dear Livy — 8 months

Livy-girl:

My beautiful star, you are officially an upright human. You spend much of your day sitting and standing, playing with toys and being social. I really love this stage — it marks the end of the smooshy-baby era and the beginning of you being a little person. I love seeing your little body wiggle and hop with excitement. You light up when people talk to you and especially when brother Hank stops to give you affection. You also spend a good bit of time vocalizing your thoughts from the sitting position. It cracks me up because I imagine you bossing us all around. 

I think talking might be your superpower. You love to chat the day away and make quite the variety of sounds. Your favorite thing to say is Dada (and you say it frequently to your actual Dada). You would think mama would be jealous, but I actually love more than anything seeing your father beam when you say it. He is enchanted with you.

You recently got your first tooth. Bottom middle, barely noticeable to the naked eye, but easily felt with a swipe of the finger. You haven't let a lack of teeth get in your way of eating real food, though. We switched exclusively to finger foods because you refused to be spoon-fed anymore. You much prefer controlling your own food, thank you. We started slow but now we pretty much give you anything we're eating that you won't choke on. Big foods that you gnaw on like carrots and celery and apples, and little finger foods that you can swallow. It's a lot of fun to see what you like. Some of your favorites are dried apricots, prunes, sweet potato "fries", crackers, waffles with cream cheese, and broccoli. You also still nurse frequently though you are starting to get distracted by what's going on around you. 

You're getting close to crawling but haven't figured it out yet. You do manage to move around like a slug. If I put you down and turn away, you are always in a different spot when I look back. You are super-curious and will grab anything and everything that's within reach. 

You were sleeping great until a few weeks ago when a cold and ear infection got you down and you started waking up every two hours at night. Mama has been exhausted, but I also know that these long nights won't last forever. I take it upon myself to kiss those cheeks at every feeding knowing that someday you'll be too busy to stop and let me do it. You take two lovely long naps during the day which I am very thankful for. I use your nap time to get things done or to spend some quality one-on-one time with your brother. 

Playtime is getting more and more fun. Your favorite toys are the Little People Farm and a picnic basket shape sorter that Grandma got you for Christmas. You also like playing with and talking to the dog. She really loves you, which makes your mama all sentimental at least once a day.

It makes me smile when you:

• "yell" at the TV because you think it's talking to you
• lay your head on my neck and play with my earrings and hair when you're tired
• whisper when I put your mouth near my ears
• wiggle your toes and play with the fabric of my shirt while you're nursing

I love you so much, Livy. I'm so excited to see your big personality showing up more and more everyday.

Your biggest fan,
Mama

Dear Livy — 6 months

My dearest Livypants:

My apologies for being a little late writing your 6 month letter. You have been keeping me on my toes, baby girl. I still insist that you are an easygoing and happy baby, but the past month was a bit trying at times. I think you were going through some sort of growth spurt and at times it felt like you were draining the life out of me. But it's worth it if it means you are turning into my little Hulkamaniac. (It's weird to write that knowing you will likely never know who Hulk Hogan is.)

Probably the most exciting thing for you this month was trying new foods. You've been eating cereal, purees, and some finger foods. It's touch and go — some times I get you all buckled in your seat only to have you refuse to open your mouth, but other times you gobble down whatever I give you and get mad if the spoon doesn't come to your mouth fast enough. I am, admittedly, tickled pink that you seem to prefer my homemade baby food over the jar stuff. It's likely just a coincidence but I will take it as a compliment. I always offer you a puree and a finger food during meals, and while you aren't 100% consistent in getting finger foods up to your mouth you are definitely getting the hang of your pincer grasp.

You developed a somewhat quirky and hilarious habit this month. When you get angry, you blow raspberries while you're crying. It's a little hard to take you seriously, you know? Daddy and I find ourselves laughing at you which probably isn't the reaction you're hoping for. I think it's adorable and I hope I always remember you doing it.

We've also learned that you don't like when people get too close to your face too soon. You seem to have a sensitivity to people getting up in your face, like the little old ladies at the grocery store who mean well but often make you cry. Once you've warmed up to somebody though, you are fine to snuggle in close. 

You remind me of a little roly poly pill bug the way you roll around on the floor, grabbing your feet and rolling around on your back. You are beyond obsessed with your feet and have the same hyper-flexibility that your Daddy and brother do, passed down from several generations. You are also very expressive with your hands and fingers and are always waving them around and watching them intently. Anytime you catch a glance from one of us while doing this, you smile so wide and it completely melts our hearts.

I am so very lucky to have two children who love to cuddle. Every night after bath, I lotion you up, dress you and feed you. And then we have some snuggle time together while brother and Daddy join us in the big bed for story time. It doesn't matter what else has happened that day, or how stressed I am about what's going on in the world, in those moments I know joy and bliss and I feel like the luckiest mama on the earth. 

During wakeful times you are as chatty as ever. Daddy and I have both heard you say "mama" and "dada". I'm not sure if that's even possible yet, but I guess when you're babbling constantly eventually some real words are going to come out. The little sounds and noises you make bring a lot of laughter to our whole family.

Still no teeth, but I keep saying that they're coming. You are drooling like a basset hound.

Oh Livy. I didn't know you were missing from our lives until you got here, and now I just can't imagine what life would be like without you. I can't imagine not seeing Hank light up every day when he notices how cute you are. Or says, "Baaa-by. Hap-py!" and hugs, er, tackles you on the floor. You are so uniquely you and yet you fit into our family like a puzzle piece that makes everything feel whole and complete. 

I love you so much my little star,
Mama

Dear Livy — 5 months

My sweet girl:

It's been said that the first 3 months of a baby's life are like the "fourth trimester" — that human babies should still be in the womb but emerge early due to our large brains. Then, something magical happens around the 4–5 month mark where our squishy babies start to be little upright humans. This transformation has definitely happened with you over the last month! 

You are sitting up (albeit a bit wobbly), rolling over both ways, grasping for objects, and babbling like crazy. You also love to pass the time by looking at your hands in amazement. It looks like you are casting spells the way you twirl your hands around and watch them. You remind me that, wow, hands really are incredible.

You still have the sweetest, smiliest little personality. We'll be out and about and people will take a peek at you and be presented with the gift of your smile. I love seeing their reactions. You have a way of lighting up the space around you.

Occasionally you have your freak out moments and scream your head off, and you definitely have cranky moments in the evening like most babies do (parents call this the "witching hour"). When these things happen you are usually made calm again by being walked around or taken outside.  

Probably the thing that surprises me the most about you is how talkative you are. I don't remember your brother ever babbling the way you do at such a young age. Sometimes it sounds like you are speaking in complete sentences, with facial expressions to go along with your stories. It is the most entertaining thing in the world to watch you do this. 

You still love big brother Hank and watch him in a way that you do nobody else. You give him your full, rapt attention. He loves to be on the other side of your watchful eyes. He is very loving and kind with you, and only occasionally forgets to be gentle. And you don't even flinch when he runs his trucks and toys around you and over you.

This past month was busy for us as we did some of our first long-range travel as a family of four. We traveled to Elysburg, PA for you and your brother's first trip to Knoebels Grove. You were so easy-going and happy as a clam as long as we were outside and you could look around. Then we traveled to Jersey Shore for a few days to visit Nana and Papa's house where you entertained visitors. Overall you were an excellent traveler and pretty much stuck to your schedule/routine no matter where we were.

You had a checkup at the pediatrician today (your 4 month checkup, though you were 5 months old). You weighed almost 16 lbs. (60th percentile), were 26 inches long (80th percentile), and had a head circumference of 43 cm (88th percentile). You are growing and thriving so well, and we got the go ahead to start solid foods.

You still nap 3-4 times a day and sleep for 12 hours at night. You get up twice during the night to eat (around 1 AM and 5 AM) and have gotten very efficient at nursing, often taking only 5-10 minutes to eat. You are not much of a comfort nurser — if I try to feed you when you aren't hungry you get very mad at me. I like that you are all business!

Even though you're the newest member of our family, I absolutely cannot imagine our life without you in it. Being your mama has brought a fullness and richness to my existence here on earth that fills me with honor and gratitude. 

Love you baby girl,
Mama

Dear Livy — 3 months

Little Livers:

Today you are 3 months old. Everywhere we go, when people ask me how you are, I say you're an angel. You've been sleeping through the night since you were 2 months old (from 10 pm to 7 am). Not only that, but you love to nap and you're happy and smiley when you're awake. How did we get so lucky?! I don't know where you come from and who trained you, but you are one happy baby. And I give you about a million cheek and head kisses a day to thank you for that.

You are still mostly sleeping, eating, and pooping all the time, but you are on the brink of developing a little personality to go with your beautiful aura. You love to laugh (and even do it in your sleep) and you are seriously chatty. Girl, I can't wait to have someone to talk to in the mornings when these boys are grumping around. Will you be a talker like your mommy? Time will tell.

Some of my favorite things you do:

• wiggle your toes while you're eating because you're happy
• grab and pull daddy's chest hair and make him scream
• stretch like a diver when I unswaddle you in the morning 
• watch me intently while I give you a bath

About mid-way through the month you started rolling over front to back. You've done it a handful of times but still get stuck sometimes and won't do it. You also love to scoot around your crib. I'm often amazed at how you don't stay where I put you. You continue to hold your head up well and LOVE to sit in the Bumbo seat. You smile like a maniac when I put you in it.

Right now your schedule is mostly like this:

• 7 am — wakeup, get dressed, nurse
• playtime
• 9 am to noon — nap
• nurse, playtime
• 2 to 4 pm — nap
• nurse, playtime
• 6:30 pm — nurse, night nap
• 9:30 pm — bath, jammies, nurse
• 10 pm to 7 am — sleep

Playtime for you means watching us do something, watching your mobile, playing on a blanket, doing tummy time (you hate this), sitting in the Bumbo, or looking over our shoulders out at the world. You love being outside and almost never cry when we're outdoors. You also love being in the Ergo carrier but it always puts you right to sleep.

You like watching brother Hank and he is absolutely smitten with you. When he sees me put the blanket down on the floor (the signal that you are going to join us for playtime) he gets so excited and lays on his belly laughing and waiting for you.

At your 2 month well-visit you weighed 11 lbs. 6 oz. (48th percentile) and were 23.62" long (90th percentile). You are wearing 0-3 month clothes but are on the verge of growing out of them. I love how solid you are and the little rolls you have on your legs and arms. 

We have a few nicknames for you in addition to "Livy":

• Liverwurst
• Liver
• Livster
• Sweet Girl
• Sweet Cheeks

You are such a beacon of joy and peace, little girl. I can't wait to see how your way of being continues to change the world the way it has changed ours.

All my love,
Mama

Dear Livy — 8 weeks

My sweet Livy:

Today you are 8 weeks old. But it feels like you've been a part of our family forever. Someday you will understand what that's like — to meet someone and feel like you've known them forever. I thought that having a baby for the second time would somehow feel less magical, less awe-inspiring, but I couldn't have been more wrong. Your coming into the world was every kind of wonderful.

You were born on May 28, 2014 at UPMC Hamot Women's Hospital in Erie, PA near the bay of Lake Erie. I had a scheduled Cesarean delivery which went about as fabulously as a surgery can go. I even joked with the anestheiologist that it felt like I was at a spa. I fell asleep on the table while they were stitching me up. Little did I know that this peaceful, relaxing feeling was an indicator of your way of being.

You are peaceful and easy-going and calm most of the time. Being our second born baby, I know that part of it is that I am more relaxed and confident. But most of it has to do with who you are. During wakeful times you are bright-eyed and curious and smiley. You smiled while we were still at the hospital! When you get upset you do get full-bore mad and angry, but you are quick to calm down again once your needs are met.

Breastfeeding was easy with you from the start. We were reunited after the birth pretty quickly and you were able to latch on strongly right away. It only took about two weeks for us to get through the early bumpiness of our breastfeeding relationship. You are one of those rare and amazing babies who sleeps for longer periods at night and is a more active eater during the day. Right now you wake up 1-2 times a night to eat (usually just 1) and eat every 2-3 hours during the daytime. I'm a lucky mama!

Your big brother Hank wasn't quite sure what to make of you at first, but once he realized you were a real person and not an animated doll he became warm and affectionate with you. Every day he smiles at you and gives you kisses and calls you "baby" in the cutest way. I love seeing him put his hand on your back and kiss your head. He also likes to rock you in the rocker and brings you a pacifier when you need one. Big brother loves to be helpful, and he loves you.

You go everywhere with us — to the playground and swimming and shopping and out to eat — without much fussing. You love being in the Ergo carrier but kind of hate the car seat. We hated to hear you cry in the car so we found a way to put a swaddle in your car seat around the seat buckle, which has really made car trips more peaceful for you. 

Physically you are SO active and strong. You were holding your head up from the start and continue to shock me with how much strength you have in your neck. I even had to figure out a different solution for giving you baths because you would throw yourself around in the infant tub so much that I couldn't keep you under control with one hand. So now we just use a foam bath mat in the big tub and you are free to thrash around as you please. You generally like bath time and only occasionally scream your head off during it.

I love you so much, Livy. You have brought such a warmness and peacefulness to our family that feels so balanced and right. I have a daughter. And something about that makes me feel humble and important and excited. 

Kissing your nose, because that always makes you smile.

Mama